The Radiant Writings of UV

The other day, after watching Dhobi Ghat for the second time, Netflix suggested that I watch a Tamil movie called Sometimes (Tamil: Sila Samayangalil ). Interested by its plot, I decided to start watching this seemingly somber film. Well, I wasn’t disappointed, but neither was I amazed. I got what I expected. Before we get to that, I think I should dive a little deeper into the plot. Seven strangers, waiting in a blood test center’s waiting room for their HIV test results, decide to bribe the counter lady so that they can get to know their results as soon as possible. The counter lady finds out only half the information—one of the seven people is HIV-positive. Rather than relieving their stress, it increases the protagonists’ necessity to know the results. This is the basic plot, literally the one displayed on Netflix.  This 2018 movie has the coveted Prakash Raj and Nasser. Prakash Raj, as usual, gives a stellar performance, whereas Nasser is present on screen for barely fiv...

After a dry spell and major writer’s block, I have decided to revamp my blog a bit. Nothing interests me more than watching movies and commenting on how wonderful or disappointing they were. Not that I am an expert from the film industry or a film reviewer by profession. But I am a viewer, with a potentially liberal opinion. So, I will try to be as considerate yet firm as possible in my reviews. Do not worry, as I will try to post other stuff as well—writings, poems, and such. In short, my kind readers, I am back with a possible bang. I will try to be regular, I promise.

A Short Story (This is my first attempt at a short story.) She kept turning in her bed, right to left and left to right; sleep had abandoned her tonight. All she could think of was the kiss—the affection she felt, followed by a rush of dejection. She had never kissed a boy before. The butterflies she felt afterwards were incomparable to anything she’d felt ever before. The satisfaction was extraordinarily calming and soothing—something a monk meditating for ages would feel at nirvana. She was the epitome of love and love had become her. Or at least she thought. It had been two hours since the “incident.” Her heart was still beating fast, but she wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. Just as things seemed to be coming back to normalcy, the phone rang and then rang some more. She saw the caller ID and gasped. There came a glimmer in her eyes. It was him! Her friend of seven years. Her partner in crime. “Hey...” she answered. “Hey Ruth! I called to see if you’re ok... You ju...

Here is a small collection of my short poems which I pen down when I get these random ideas. The part 2 will come some time soon... Enjoy! Tremendous agonies of my past  Mesmerize my future The present just feels so lost Bored with all the rants Heaps and heaps of sunlight Loads and loads of rain Crates and crates of snow Oh, seasons can't you, for a while, pause! Pen to paper is Like rain to soil Nurturing thoughts Growing minds Agonizing and terrorizing Exciting and raw Hilarious and frustrating All are the sides of the law

Found a letter in my drawer A slight recall to my past The regretful relationship The hurtful remarks Booming with condescension Filled with careless words Stuffed with egoistic junk Words, more words, and worse Quite funny, it was Actually a love letter of sorts One sent in the peak of "our" time I'm so glad it was lost!

Self-deprecation had brought me there A lonely road, the one of despair You hadn't found me I waited for long You took a different with me uninformed! Waiting for you, was all I did! For a smile to melt away my boundaries For a kiss to tear me apart For a caress to cure my heart But you never came again Left me waiting in vain I wasted my time waiting for you In the depths of wilderness  Lost in the desire of you... You never wanted me there... Threw all the crap thinking me unaware Ruined my thoughts without a care Threw my love in the air I am wiser now I breathe in my paradise Love is not all I want I have now the happiness, The happiness of you out of my life!

Some things are green Some are blue Then there are those Violet and crimson too! Colors make our lives sane Colors make thoughts rain Colors exist never in vain Whether you wear a crown or are insane Health can be pink Mind can be blue Death is purple Black protests the undesirable Gray's an emotion mighty true Gold is the heart of someone you knew White is peace. Red is love. Colors are life. Don't you think so too? 

Blasting through my eyes Coursing through my veins A feeling that is awesome Something that will ease my pains In the juxtaposition of my heart Has come an emotion so true Whenever I am over the edge I look only for you A smile that brings all to life A cackle, one of a kind A balderdash attitude during a consequence All in the one I love for eternity

Love the deadly conniver Lurks in a mind sinister In a form of a cupid’s arrow The charm, which it bestows A palindrome of endless letters Often undiscerned as if chirps of birds Smiles come, smiles go Bringing love with new innuendos There are days of rejoice There are feelings of fight Have a mind to which you lie And so many tears that leave my eyes You love it, You hate it You want it, You need it All but one truth of life Love comes and takes you by surprise

Blown to shatters, with a crippled mind Walking on a path highly undivine Blackness encircles at unholy altitudes Grossly disillusioned by a perceived delusion Sharp stones pelted toward the back Cracked skulls and loosened teeth of apathetic thought Rising brows and smirking lips, cold shoulders and mighty grips Humanness defies greatness like love defies hate Accepting the person can be a burden Great stories, but with ends so uncertain.

Sadness binds us all together. In our lives, we all crave approval, either from within or from the others. I don't advocate either, but I feel that we need it nonetheless. Feelings are a part of who we are, and sadness a part of those feelings. When someone you know or love is sad, the first instinct that comes to you (regardless of whether you act upon it or not) is that of empathy. Empathy is a component of our limbic system, an inseparable one in that. I, for one, believe that we humans are humans because of this small, but significant, part of our central nervous system. Coming back to sadness and its relationship with the humanness we all carry. The saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an optimistic take on this issue. Every human needs an inspiration, an idol, a motivator, when they need to deal with their sadness and grief. "How does he/she do it! How can he control his/her tears when watching a tearjerker! I gotta learn a thi...

Disclaimer: I know the title is a bit derivative, but please focus on the content... Chao! Silence, away from the mayhem Lies my mind in a forum A forum of anger, of fear, of desire Moaning in suffering The suffering of the past I know some of my destiny at last Love comes with life Life comes with changes Change is the inevitable truth, you can't deny Accept or reject,  Take or give  Revival of the original Never happens, never will I lie here now In my fortress of solitude A place to be alone, to be true Come! Join me, if you will! The grass may not be green But, I promise, it sure is mighty clean!

Bleak weather, timid sky Loss of words, a chance to fly Break of dawn, sun is nigh Open the eyes to a wonderful high Barking dogs, braying asses Kids dancing their first dances Comes a holy night, starry sky Lying on the back, count the hours go by Having the time, the time to admire To feel the love, to feel the quiet Bring me back those times again For my worries need to be slain

I can't give up on people. Why you ask? It's my mind that rules my thoughts. My fucking ingeniously stupid mind! It never lets me give up, ever. Many a person have come into my life, some have stayed, some have abandoned me, and some I have abandoned. But, all have left memories, memories that I regret or love, or both. Some have been formative, defined who I am. Memories that have shown me how to live a life, may it be the distant memory of the class-trip to Nepal or the recent Wall Art Festival/noco Project memories. All have defined me in someway or the other. This is the reason I am unable to give up. People, knowingly or unknowingly, make me who I am, define what I am, show me my positives, indicate my negatives. They judge me, abuse/misuse me, take my heart and throw it into the gutter or trample it. But, they may also protect it with their life, give me the love I long for. I am happy to have found the people that exist in my small bubble of knowledge. T...

Disclaimer: This is again a poem that I wrote during my recent love-related experiences. It does not have much bearing now, but I love it somehow. I hope you enjoy it too! Things have not been right I'm faltering to reach the light The light that will cut me up And then tear me to the core There was a time I felt unloved Which someone tried to undo I broke their heart instead Oh, what a silly agony to bear! They are happy I hope Found the one to fulfill their longing While I sit writing this The unsung side of a story no one hears The story of an anxious boy Dying to see the light of day All he did always T'was hope and pray The boy who never left home Fearing the claws of the doom The doom that only awaits  Awaits for someone like him

Disclaimer: This is regarding one of my recent experiences with love and the lack of it. This was one of the poems I wrote at that time. The person I wrote this for, I never got to know them. Although it doesn't have much bearing right now, it's a memory nonetheless. Saw a person, a candidate Told my heart, hold on, wait! This may be a trap date You know what happened that fall late Said I will take a chance Heart pounding at every glance The picture of sophisticated grace The smile that could melt the toughest face I need to know you But I better not haste I've seen what happens When on the other side of the gate Now I wait as my heart pounds Every time the phone rings the tone aloud I don't know why they won't reply I think I am being silly, ain't I?

Farther in the dark I saw a blind man sing He was a pauper He was a kin He sung a melody  The melody's all I recall The melody like a pearl A pearl in the sea He wanted nothing  Not a thing from me But only a promise that I'll just be Go home, go home  To the mercy of your God To the light that calls To the things you grew up for Then, he disappeared  Taking the darkness within Leaving light, only light there And that's all I recall

You're unborn, with a small beating heart Someday you'll fall apart Just an empty space for a heart I'll be there to caress you when you cry For I know how it feels To see a little part of you die I promise to shelter you with me To protect you when you need And then make you heal But I'm a mess too Born to impress not just a few Frolicking in desires like the rest But there's none left I have been a fool Loathing the merriment Garnering the heart for the blessed Oh! I'm indeed a mess You're an unborn mess Soon you could be On the path to becoming like the rest Now, I don't know what to feel Is it of worth to bring you in? Is it right to let you go? I am not the enemy nor a foe Ending you now could be the answer To save you from all that's out there One mess less May make the world indeed a better place

In the farthest corner, lurks with a grin on his face A man needing a welcoming embrace. The man seems clueless of the life that awaits Of the pain he'll be holding Of the night that stays. I see that man everyday I see him in every place Dressed up as a commensal in me He goes and takes my place. Oh! Just look at that face! A jovial welcome is all he needs All he cares for, all he thinks of. Grossly immature, with a body of refute He walks in a disguise He walks into you In the blink of an eye, Or in the eye of the tiger, Courage is all he needs Or something he can go to banter Oh! Like a panther. Darkness beholds, moonlight shines Should he be grinning? Would he die? The commensal in me asks Would you care to divulge: What is life? Is it moot? What is all that I saw? Where's the who's who? Who makes you, you? Who? Care to say "who"?

Broken hearts, tethered souls Never undone, never old Fighting the tears back I need you here Going around in circles Faltering evermore I had a dream of never falling apart Of ever loving you, forever, so far Of beating around the bush, for that yes But soon found out, you were just like the rest The rest in my life Who left me high and dry I thought you might be it But now I think, was it even worth a try You have someone with you now Someone who got to you first Before I came around It’s obvious I think that he is the lucky one He has the heart I needed He has the soul I like the most He has the one I will remember For which I have strived the most Losing my sleep, in those dreams I want to die a handsome rose With no one around to love me like that It’s a wasted life to live, I suppose?